OPUS Mag

Far from timid • Caveat Lector

Aye, but Yo... Vol. 2

Aye, but Yo... Vol. 2

Why every older nigga wearing a Bluetooth look like he does security for CVS?

 Like they won't even sell you the Bluetooth unless you have a baldie, plain white fitted, and plaid shorts. Their shoe of choice ranges from low top Funk Flex Lugz to Team Jordan’s when they wanna appear "hip". You have to have your face scanned and if you don't resemble Derek Fisher enough they'll refuse your business.

 Plain white fitted hats are for undercover cops, first of all. And you know the brim is gonna look like an 'n' when they're done bending it.

More importantly, who are these niggas talking to on the Bluetooth? Can't be their friends because real friends wouldn't let them leave their residence in that state. No way it's a woman who bathes every day on the other end of that call either, because she'd undoubtedly check him.

I'm starting to believe those guys are holding long conversations with their voicemail to look cool.

They almost always say some shit like "man I just gave Tony $1,500 the other day because that's all I had on me, what he want now?" MAD loud to let people in line know they're the guy to be in touch with.

Or the old "yea man I had a bad young thang with me last night, ended up hitting her AND her friend in the Lincoln" when they get around young niggas.

 

Who they fooling??

Text Her Mom Vol. 2

Text Her Mom Vol. 2

Should Carmelo Anthony Waive his No-Trade Clause?

Should Carmelo Anthony Waive his No-Trade Clause?