Dear Black Twitter: Stay TF Outta My Plate
"What you eat don't make me shit…" - Jay Z
Dear Black Twitter,
Repeat after me, you are not an expert on cuisine or a master of the culinary arts. Every time I log in someone has to pass on their judgment about what is on someone else's plate. There has to be at least a weekly debate about grits, your auntie's potato salad, or which part of the chicken is best. At the end of the day however, who in the hell cares?! I mean why waste so much energy debating on personal taste or what someone likes to eat? If you want to wrap a cat turd into some mozzarella be my guest, I won't be inviting you to the potluck if you do but do you.
Another thing, if I wanna eat Popeye's, pork, Chinese food, or a camel's hump please don't pass your god damn judgment onto my timeline about I'm killing myself. You know why fat people are so happy, because they eat and drink whatever they want and don't care for flighty or trendy opinions. Food is for personal enjoyment, it's almost as sacred as sex so I treat a plate like I treat the bedroom, what goes down isn't really your damn business unless we fu…unless you're cooking?? You get the idea, stay the fuck outta my plate.
And another thing, stop telling me where the hell is acceptable for me to go out to eat. In NYC there are 24,000 eating establishments, I doubt you've been to them all. You don't know where is the best anything to eat anywhere is. Anyway BT, I have to go make something to eat and if I tell you, you might judge me. Please don't forget to write me back, and if you don't I'm pretty sure you'll hear from me again soon.
Regards - Drew