OPUS Mag

Far from timid • Caveat Lector

Digital Dating Nightmares Vol. 2

Digital Dating Nightmares Vol. 2

There was a time when I was famous on Twitter. My profile was much different than it is now. Long ago, I traded my Oddysey-level escapade threads and thirst trapping profile for a more news-centered, awareness garnering, brand promotion, approach. I had to grow as a person.

But the beginning. Oh, the beginning was beautiful.

I created a Twitter in 2011, late to the game and after most of my friends, mainly to keep up with people with whom I had once been close, but likely would not see again. I’ve lived in 6 different cities in the last 7 years, so virtual extensions of live connections have been a way of life for me.

Needless to say, I’ve done some great things on social media, and created many meaningful connections, both business and personal. Even though I’m late to nearly every platform, there’s something quirky about my life that allows me to have some of the most ridiculous stories from my time spent acclimating to the app. I could probably write a dissertation. But throughout this series, I’ll just give you snapshots of some of my more memorable online dating experiences.

Tinder:

I almost got robbed on a Tinder date one time. Well, the date never really materialized, but I still almost got robbed. I never really liked the idea of Tinder, and when some friends introduced me to it in grad school, it took me forever to download the app and create a profile. Even after I did, I would go back and forth between having a public profile and deleting the app completely for long stretches of time. Currently, I am not a user.

So, I match with this woman, she’s fine so I’m excited. We start talking and everything seems to be going well. She seems anxious to meet up and well...I’m lowkey thirsty, so I’m with it. What’s the worst that could happen? She suggests the movie theater on the eastside, and I’m like cool. Movies are dope. Easy, cheap. It wasn’t until I was deep into the jungle of East Atlanta that I realized how out of place I was. You see, I’m from the completely opposite side of town. I don’t have friends that way. I don’t know the scene as well. If anything was to go wrong, well I’d be...screwed.

Everything happened super fast. I pulled up to the movies and called her. She didn’t answer. I tried to walk into the theater and it was closing. The doors were being locked. It was only 10:30 pm. There were a ton of cars in the parking lot, though. She messages me through the app and tells me to come into the theater. I explain to her that I tried, but the doors were locked. No response for a second. Then she messages me saying “Sorry for the delay, I ran into my ex, and he’s acting weird.”

So I’m kind of torn. Never mind the fact that you invited me to a movie that’s not actually being shown, you say you’re preoccupied with some man and potentially in an uncomfortable situation. I want to like..help? But I’m in an uncomfortable situation. I decided to standby for more information.

Eventually she tells me that they walked out of the theater and went to go talk in her car. At this point I’m ready to leave. Clearly, this is not a date for me anymore. But then she drops this gem.

They’re getting hot-and-heavy in the car and want a third to join.

This is par for for the course for them, apparently, and the reason why even though they are exes, they’re always linking up somehow. So, she invited me to join. Now, my curiosity was piqued. Not really at the prospect of having a threesome in a sardines can, but I mean, how much more ridiculous could the story get? I ask the sort of car she’s driving and where it is. When she tells me, I discreetly drive. Not to the spot, but to a place where I can watch the spot she described without looking obvious.

I don’t see the car she mentioned. At all. When I message her again (she still isn’t answering my phone calls) she tells me that she’s sitting in that same spot. She says the session is getting heated and I should just walk up to the car and get in. The car that isn’t there. In a couple minutes, the car she mentions pulls up, driven by a full-dressed, and from the view through the driver’s side window, fairly large man. I can see him digging around in the backseat and then console for something. I didn’t stick around to find out what. Meanwhile, shorty is telling me the car is there, she’s inside, and just to walk up and get in.

I send her a message saying that I wasn’t really cool with the whole group thing and that I was just going to head home. She was livid. She started trying to punk me, calling me scared, saying I wasn’t a “real freak.” I guess that’s me. A fake freak.

To end it all, I sent her a message asking if she was running a play to get me robbed. She said no, but when I pressed her on it, she unmatched me on Tinder and likely blocked me from communicating with her via phone, as she continued to not respond through that medium. Now, I get it. I could have avoided all this trouble and potential danger by just going home. But, I don’t know. *Shrug* I’m a journalist. I live for the story.

The moral is, though, be safe! Be cautious about meeting people you meet online, and always let somebody where you’ll be and who you’ll be with. Your well-being is always the top priority.

We NEED a New Max Payne Video Game

We NEED a New Max Payne Video Game

Aaron Hernandez

Aaron Hernandez