OPUS Mag

Far from timid • Caveat Lector

Stop Being a Fuckhead

Stop Being a Fuckhead

“But when women do it…” – A Fucking Fuckhead

I’m not perfect, never was, never will be but I am aware. I’m aware that fuckheads are running rampant amongst our community that I love so much and the society that I don’t really fuck with; either way, it’s time for them to stop. I don’t talk down on anyone (anymore) and that’s not what this is about. I’m here to try to make fuckheads understand they’re fuckheads and that they need to stop being fuckheads. I’m comfortable in voicing this because my name is Alain and I am a former fuckhead, so nothing I say here will be shit I preach but don’t practice. Shit, this isn’t even preaching, it’s plain not being a fuckhead, which isn’t that fucking hard to avoid. It’s my responsibility to share what I learn in how I grow because it’s sheer stupidity not correcting ignorance. Also, understand ignorance is not an excuse and blatant ignorance is the worst form of fuckheadedness.

I’ve come to grips with the fact that I’ve contributed more fuckhead interaction to this world than I have positive and I have been retired from my fuckheaded lifestyle for quite sometime. But I’ve grown the fuck up while my “peers” hold on to their fuckheaded glory days. Let’s be real most of the people my age are not my peers, their OG’s are my peers because I was outside running around with them when I wasn’t of age, so I try to hope that maybe that’s why they haven’t let go of their fuckhead ways but I’m starting to see they are beyond reproach. A lot of people expect me to stay the same because they have and that’s not quite how this works. We’re at a point in time where we need to stand behind ours, the ours being women, specifically black women. I used to make some of the most ignorant jokes ever but they weren’t jokes because they aren’t and weren’t funny; I’m sincerely sorry, not only because I cringe in embarrassment but for being a fuckhead towards black women. The thing is, I’m not entitled to black women accepting my apology and I have to accept being held accountable for all my past indiscretions towards them because being a black woman is hard as is without a black man being an obstacle.

Knowing better and not doing better isn’t ignorance, it’s fuckheadedness. The jokes towards women aren’t funny because they are filled with hate. You fuckheads don’t like women, I do and that was part of me retiring my fuckhead ways. If you ever have to start a sentence with, “I was raised by women…” in defense of something you said, you’re a fuckhead. If you claim, “My moms was a real woman…” in defense of something you said, you’re a fuckhead. If you compare women who didn’t ask nor want to be compared to each other, you’re a fuckhead. If you save pictures in your phone/cpu of women you’ve never met, you’re a fuckhead. If you use the words hoe, slut, bitch or any other obvious derogative term, you’re a fuckhead. If a woman asks you to not refer to her as a female and you continue to do so while arguing your reasoning for why you should be allowed to call them what they don’t want to be called, you’re a fuckhead.

Black women have it worse than anyone on earth; they face sexism, while combatting the same racial oppression black men face but worse because black men are also an oppressor. I guarantee one of you fuckheads just said, “Not all of us…” well if the shoe doesn’t fit, don’t wear it fuckhead. I’ve seen jokes about rape and a general dismissal of women with concerns for their safety and it makes me scared for them, so I honestly can’t imagine how they feel dealing with fuckheads all day, every day. Fuckheads make jokes about street harassment but imagine if random dudes approached you all day, how would you feel? The hypothetical doesn’t click in your head because it’s full of fuckhead rhetoric. Do better, being respectful and not being a piece of shit full of fuckheadedness is one of the easier things to do. Use me for an example, I learned/know better, so I do better without any effort. Being a fuckhead takes more energy than not being one but you’re a fuckhead and you can’t grasp that concept. A fuckhead will say, “Al only said that to get pussy…” because only fuckheads view women as a sexual being only.

I’m getting frustrated typing this and need to write something to make myself laugh; sincerely from me to you, stop being a fuckhead. 

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