Open Letter: To Our Grieving Daughters
I will not pretend to be an expert in matters of the heart, in matters of loss, or in matters of longing. Like you, I am still learning. I imagine these are lessons that never end, relentlessly tugging and forcing us into territories we wouldn’t dare journey to otherwise. I will not drown you in falsehoods of reasoning and logic. There is no sincere way to explain why you still smell her, hear her sweet voice or feel her gentle, protective arms wrap around you on your longest, loneliest days. No, I am not writing to explain your feelings away or to change your mind about missing her. I am only writing to remind you of one thing: You are not alone. You are still hers and you are always ours.
It is all of the things you find difficult to put into words. It isn’t fair. It was too soon. You were not done. There were more words to be spoken and memories to be made. There were songs to sing and arguments to have. There were meals to prepare together on Sunday afternoons and stories to listen to for the hundredth time. I know. I apologize for the people who are uncomfortable with allowing you to experience the full range of these very, very heavy thoughts, feelings, longings but…
Be certain of this… You are not alone. You are still hers and you are always ours.
To the daughters whose mothers rest on our skin each morning when the sun rises; whose love kisses us goodnight as she sits watching over us from the moon; whose tears fall with the rain watering our intentions, whose magic drifts amidst the wind gently nudging us towards our center---Your tribe, your village, yours sisters---will be your anchor when you feel most ungrounded, most unraveled, most broken. You can rest here with us for as long as you need. We will be your place.
We cannot replace or restore but we will overflow in the spaces you allow us until the numbness of the voids within you are saturated in healing. We will sit with you until your heart stops beating against your chest, until the trembling in your hands settles, until your mind slows and the spinning images are replaced with the warmest memories of her smile.
We will. Because you are not alone.
You are still hers and you are always ours.
From the place you belong,