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Far from timid • Caveat Lector

Top 5 Ways To Get An IG Honey

Top 5 Ways To Get An IG Honey

After years of collecting crucial data and running statistics with my analytics/algorithim team, I've compiled the Top 5 Ways To Land An IG Model. 

1. A Picture Holding Money - Nothing says "I'm a catch" like holding your half of the rent money in front on the steering wheel of your company car. This will surely grab the attention of all the Ayesha Curry's you so badly desire. Pro Tip: Flash someone else's money in a picture; entourage members are the new heartthrobs. 

2. Offer A Trip To Dubai - It's strictly a coincidence that this is number two but I heard a fly-out gets them to be with all the shits. Maybe it's the adjustment to the new water over there because you know the tea companies every single one is the CEO of has helped them maintain their figure; along of course with their commitment to a rigorous workout. Pro-Tip: If you want to stay a little closer to home, you can always go to Miami, heard they know all about the benefits doctors out there offer. 

3. Post A Meme - Women love intellect and what screams "scholar" more than a meme with your profound definition of Loyal? Love Overconditional Yesterday Allday Lastday. Pro Tip: Show that you adore your fans by shouting out all your haters; you'll be the toast of the town.

4. Make Her Your WCW - Obviously you're a one of a kind type of guy, I mean how could she possibly ignore you stealing a picture of her to post on your page as your own on a Wednesday; how special. There's absolutely nothing creepy about saving a picture in your phone of a woman you've never met. Pro Tip: Make her your WCE. What else screams winner like abandoning your self respect every day?

5. Like ALL Her Posts - Want to show her that overconditional love? Make sure you like every single picture, even the one of her on her different pro athlete "brothers" laps. I mean, she obviously has a big family tree and probably can get you tickets to the big game; this is a win-win. Pro Tip: Leave a comment on every picture too, verbalize your love, shit, leave your phone number; be dedicated, you little charmer you.

*BONUS ALERT*

They love exotic shit, take pictures of all your furniture, show her how clean your bathroom is & just for a little extra enticement, show her the lighting fixtures in your crib. After all, she's yours now and what says quality time like her sitting on that exotic rare artifact called a couch and taking selfies all day?

I'm just the messenger my brothers, what you do with these findings are between & God.

The Knicks Hiring Hornacek Is... A Good Thing

The Knicks Hiring Hornacek Is... A Good Thing

RESPECT: Wesley Snipes

RESPECT: Wesley Snipes