OPUS Mag

Far from timid • Caveat Lector

If Twitter Existed: The Malice in the Palace

If Twitter Existed: The Malice in the Palace

We all think this to ourselves, “Imagine we had Twitter when…” well this is why I’m here. Not only can I imagine it, I’ll detail exactly what would happen and the fallout from it. This is the first installment of this series and I’m willing to take suggestions (yes, I know all about OJ Simpson & I’m OJ’d out).

The Malice in the Palace is near and dear to my heart because not only do I remember where I was, what I was doing and who I was with but I’ve done my fair share of heckling at basketball games. (I wish someone would run up on me) So the thought of things escalating in 2016 where SnappyChatty, Instagrammys & The Twitter Fingers run the world makes me go, “Hmmmmm”.

The game itself was testy and truth be told the referees let a lot of shit fly between 2 teams that fucking hated each other. The big misconception is that Ron Artest started the bullshit, when in fact it was Ben Wallace who shoved him. Who the fuck pushes another grown man anyhow? What’s next? “Meet me at 3 by the monkey bars.” Punk ass (Yes, Ron Ron is from Queens and I’ll defend him to detah). So Ron Ron walks away calmly and goes to lie down on the scorers table, which was a bit much but it was Ron Ron. Then it happened, fans in Detroit threw a drink at him. STOP. Imagine being at work as an MC Tweet Tweet or whatever you do and someone throws a drink at you while you’re on the job? Go ahead and lie about how you’d react, whether it be how you’ll show how “gangsta” you are or how you’d take the high road; you’re a motherfucking liar. No person, as a fucking human being would allow that to happen to them and just be “ok” with it. So Ron Ron did what anyone would do and set it the fuck off.

Imagine Twitter while this was going on? The slow motion videos of the drink landing on Ron Ron. The memes of the fans faces when he saw Artest bout to punch him dead in the mouth. The Jordan crying face of the fan O’Neal slide and punched into Mars. How people would Photoshop DeRay’s vest on security to make them look like bulletproof vests (protect DeRay at all costs, on life). Imagine the “others” calling us all type of racial epithets while baseball and hockey players brawl and it’s “America’s pastime”. The race lines would be drawn, we would have men vs. women calling each other names because some would say they won’t let their kids play basketball and other would act as if the other is soft. Then some men would pretend to be tough guys and tell you what they would have done in the situation and start “threatening” others with words on a screen and it would be beautiful chaos. I personally would just laugh at all the hypotheticals and throw something in the air about how someone probably was eating boneless “wings” and that’s why Ron Ron decided to punch him because if it were a real chicken wing, he’d just eat it. It would be anarchy and madness and I would have loved it; so would you.

Next time on If Twitter Existed… we take a look at Pablo saying “George Bush…” 

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