OPUS Mag

Far from timid • Caveat Lector

Sex & The Exchange: The Line Between Liberation & Emotional Suicide

Sex & The Exchange: The Line Between Liberation & Emotional Suicide

Disclaimer: I'm far from a prude; on a scale of Charlotte – Samantha? I'm probably on track to being a Carrie (if you know, you know; if you don't…do better at life). With that being said, people tend to be completely for or against women fucking whomever they want to fuck. I believe "sexual liberation" is the slogan.

    Epiphany

 Sexual "liberation" has never been about disconnecting yourself from the power of the act itself and letting any old chicken-legged boy inside you. Let's dead that ideal before I even gets started. It's an agenda that was not made with your divinity, mental, & emotional health in mind. The liberation comes from the freedom of choosing... emphasis on the CHOOSING.

Of course you should be able to sleep with whom you'd like without judgment. Sometimes a woman can find herself in a place where she doesn't have the time, energy, or even the emotions to be emotionally involved. If you as a woman have not been there, you are lucky. The majority of women will go through a point in their lives where this is the case.

 How many people have you slept with that you regret or simply could have done without? Is such a temporary high worth the lingering regret that comes with choosing unwisely? And why don't we talk enough about how often this seems to happen? Rather than campaigning to be able to make poor decisions in peace, why don't we just take accountability and fix ourselves. 

It should be noted that when choosing wisely there is plenty of opportunity to encounter some very dope men and experiences. I've personally established some great lifelong friendships and connections whilst being emotionally disconnected. Take your time with someone for what it's worth, and it's always worth something as long as the respect is there and the arrangement is completely mutual. If it's not, eventually the fun stops and things become messy. Don't be that person who's always ending things on a messy note. I want more for us.

These encounters don't come a dime a dozen. There simply is a shortage of people who are mentally well qualified to live detached without harming themselves or the other party. But if common sense does not evade you...it shouldn't take much trial and error to perfect the art of the law of attraction.

Reality

 We as humans have an advantage that most other forms of life do not; the ability to identify patterns and analyze them. Fun fact: IQ testing is widely measured by this ability (or the lack there of). Just keep that in mind if you have habitually shitty patterns when it comes to your decision-making.

 Individuality is the spice of life. By no means are monogamy and longevity ideal for everyone. Some of us can't even connect beyond rudimentary compatibility standards for things like this to be viable. So how do we move about in this millennial world where most people can't even seem to stay fluid to their own way of thinking? You know, where their comportment can range from "traditional" to "get with the times" depending on what's convenient at the time. 

Some things are a general health threat for people as a whole. Sleeping with people who don't give a damn about you is probably up there with doing hard drugs we all know lead to addiction. It's downright masochism. It's not anything that you should need to experience and it damn sure isn't liberating. 80% of women struggle to reach their peak in bed...I'm calling the bluff. 

 Cognizance of Self

"Now that reconciliation is possible, if we're going to heal.. Let it be glorious." - Warsan Shire

Have you reflected? Did the sanctimonious tone of these words disassemble what you made yourself believe you were fighting for? Our flaws are not our shroud but being complacent in them…being too fearful to have them, that is. 

See I don't believe I have enough influence to spark a change in people who probably need intensive therapy. They get paid heftily to deal with that for a reason. What I do know is I might've went through that one too many times.. So hopefully y'all wouldn't have to. This is an open letter to women who are ready to evolve or who need the words to help other women that they know who might need them. 

No More Mom-Shaming

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Buying Black: A Lifelong Mood

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