OPUS Mag

Far from timid • Caveat Lector

No More Mom-Shaming

No More Mom-Shaming

“I’ll never let my child watch TV or play with electronic devices at a young age.”

 “I wish that mother would get her child under control in the store. Why is she letting him/her scream like that?”

 “Ugh, I can’t even eat in peace. Why is this mom bringing her child to a restaurant & letting him/her make all of this noise?

Hello, my name is Krissy, and I’m a former mom-shamer. Yes, I’m ready to fully admit it. Let me explain though; I spent most of my life saying that I didn’t want to have kids because I didn’t want the responsibility. I was the woman who would always look at moms in disgust, while shopping in Target, as they let their child have a tantrum without addressing it. In my head, I’m thinking, how could you just let them cry? Aren’t you going to help them?

I became a mom at 8:49pm on February 28, 2016. At that very moment, that is when everything changed, my mindset, my emotions, my thought process. It was like a beam of lightning hit me. I suddenly understood it all.

Why is the mom letting her child have a full on tantrum in the store? Probably because this isn’t the first, nor will it be the last, time that this has happened. Or maybe she’s so tired that she just doesn’t have the energy to deal. Hell, maybe she has just learned how to block the noise out and just wants to shop for her toilet paper. LOL. I don’t know. But what I do know is that her letting the child scream doesn’t make her a bad mother.

Why is the mom letting her child watch YouTube videos or play games on the iPad at age 2? Have you ever thought that mom needs a break too? That she just might need a moment of quiet where she can sit down and not think or do. Sometimes the only moments we have to ourselves are when the child is preoccupied with an electronic device. And let me tell you, you take advantage like hell of those times. That doesn’t mean you let the child sit on it all damn day. But what it does mean is that we deserve our “me” time too.

Why is the mom bringing her loud child to a restaurant? Maybe she wants to have one meal that she doesn’t need to cook prepared for her and her child. While it sounds crazy, it’s very real. Mealtimes with kids aren’t what you see on TV. They are little minions that refuse to eat what is put in front of them, but will eat that same food off of the floor like it’s the best meal they’ve had all day. They make a mess. They yell. They cry. All the while, you are sitting/standing there doing everything in your power to get them to eat. So, the reason we go to restaurants is so that we can eliminate some of that drama. I can order a meal of my choice that I don’t have to cook and I can eat it. Ahhh...lovely. Even if my child is screaming, I’m going to eat. Why? Because I’ve earned this damn meal the same way you have. I am paying for it. I drove here. Imma eat. Oh, and guess what? I don’t care if you are bothered. Bloop!

I urge all of you, before you give that mom an evil stare or speak things under your breath, put yourself in their shoes. Instead of wondering why the child is screaming, try going up to the mother and seeing if she needs help. While she may tell you no, the fact that you cared enough to ask goes a long way. It could, honestly, make her day.

Practice more compassion and less judgment.

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