OPUS Mag

Far from timid • Caveat Lector

On Sight: Idris Elba

On Sight: Idris Elba

On sight means no matter where I see you, I'm ready for the scuffle. You could be out having lunch with an attractive harlot or simply shopping for groceries; if I see you, I'm at you...period.

Idris Elba; you piece of shit! It'd be FAR too easy to say this is about how you snaked Avon when you played Stringer Bell. Although I will admit when you said "you taking notes in a criminal fuckin conspiracy?" during a meeting I laughed hysterically and still do, that's not the point. No, this offense is worse.

The Office Season 5: Episode 20 - New Boss was the beginning.

When they hired you at Dunder Mifflin, I thought to myself "wow we got a REAL one in office to help Michael Scott, it's lit!"

And boy was I wrong. Not only did you make Tuna (Jim) feel like he had to change his style to please your boring, ashy elbow head ass, you ordered lunch for the office after Michael made bagels (that you didn't even touch) in the shape of a "C" for YOU, shithead.

Charles? Charles, my nigga you came in rocking a corny ass trench coat that even Inspector Gadget wouldn't dare dawn. The frames on your glasses were the same ones that women named Thea and Gloradine wear. I don't like your haircut either. Pardon, I meant your stupid fucking haircut.

Let's fast forward, you and David Wallace finally force my guy Michael to quit. Michael plants the seed of the Michael Scott Paper Company, puts the word out while he's still in office...and you start hating. You have him escorted out WHILE he's trying to give his goodbye speech to the branch that he helped build! (And destroy at times, but again, not the point)

At that point I began doing more pull-ups than Westbrook on a fast break. Also lifting more weight than battle rappers claim to in their rounds, all in hopes of running into you for the fair one. Over the course of my training, I kept tabs on Michael's company and so did you because he started making substantial noise.

So much noise that you and David Wallace wanted to offer him a buyout to stop him from moving work on your block and he said NO like a true boss playa. Couple meetings later, he finally negotiates the right buyout that sends you away and allows him his return to glory.

Of course you wanted to do a goodbye speech, like the one you ripped from Michael Scott's hands upon his initial exit; but he stopped you in your tracks and got your bum ass up outta there. I was downstairs in the lobby with the tre pound, but Hank asked me to leave before I let it sing a whole soundtrack.

It's still on sight; believe that! Michael Scott, although a fictional character, is a dear friend of mine and this shit is far from over Tim Brown face. You look like you wear fishnet tank tops with plain lime green hats in your leisure. I still plan on smacking follicles off your face.

You know what it is.

MyVerse Monday Vol. 1

MyVerse Monday Vol. 1

What Writing Means To Me

What Writing Means To Me