Permission: An Open Letter to Women who've been Shattered
I see you. I know that right now you are using both hands to sift through what they left behind. You are attempting to rebuild. You are trying your best to catch your breath having exerted so much energy attempting to forge yourself into their expectations of you. You almost did it. I am glad you did not. Their expectations were too small. Their plans for you and inability to sit comfortably with the varying pieces of who you are without struggling to silence, smother, or steal portions of your divinity was merely a projection of the way people have failed to love them. We do not blame them for being incapable and mishandled in their pasts. We just know better now. So now, that we know, that we have shattered, that we have reconciled with ourselves because we’ve allowed ourselves to be pawns in their own journeys to restoration; I give you permission.
I give you permission to let go, to experience the depth of your truth, to unfold. I recognize that for quite some time people who have not been graced to love you have stolen away and occupied the sacred spaces in the depths of you. In light of this, I pray your capacity for your own beauty begins to grow, overtakes you as you finally realize all the ways God rests on your skin. It is imperative that you shift. These people know all of the ways to win and this is war. You must protect the sacredness of your development at all costs because it is time that you flourish. You have existed in the shadows. The universe never intended for you to stay in darkness. There is a season for everything but you cannot make your home in this space. You have to press through whatever you’re feeling in this moment and recognize that at your core you are relentless. You are indestructible. You are capable. If you weren’t people would not attach themselves to you in an attempt to fill themselves from your glory.
I recognize you do not need my permission to do anything. Just think of permission in this context as my way of saying I know and I am with you. I know and I am with you.
It hurts. I know and I am with you.
It’s too hard to move on. I know and I am with you.
They took you for granted. I know and I am with you.
You’re afraid. I know and I am with you.
It feels like you’re not breathing. I know and I am with you.
You thought it was forever. I know and I am with you.
You can’t fall again. I know and I am with you.
You’re tired of getting it wrong. I know and I am with you.
Whatever your truth, I know and I am with you. I know what it is to feel like you are alone in it. I can assure you that you are not. So, decide right now that instead of quitting and falling back into old habits that keep you stagnant you will turn to your sisters and ask for help. You will remind yourself of why you had to walk away and where you’re going. Because…you survived and you deserve. Soon, you’ll look at one of your sisters in pain and you’ll be able to say…
I give you permission to unfold. I know and I am with you.
I love you - Natalia