OPUS Mag

Far from timid • Caveat Lector

I Promise, You Did - a poem

I Promise, You Did - a poem

I didn’t respond immediately

I just let you have it

Let you say you didn’t stir my love

That you didn’t pretend

That you were sent to be a safe place

And maybe it wasn’t explicit

Maybe the words were never said

But I promise you said you loved me

These scars are proof that you did

I heard it in the ‘what have you eaten’, the

Good Mornings! And the ‘It’s okay, you can tell me.’

It was there in the ‘I like you like hell’

The ‘I can’t wait to see you again’

And the ‘just calling to say hey’

It drifted in next to the ‘I’ll call back to check in’

The ‘did I say it like your friends would?’

The ‘let me tell you about my day’

The ‘do you remember when we…’

The ‘did you know when we met...’

You let it linger in the

‘I knew when I saw you.’

‘The baby you’re magical,

I’m not sure if anyone told you’

It played softly over my heartbeat in the

‘I wanted you to hear it from me’

The ‘listen to this song’, the

‘Quote your favorite movie’

And it danced in my dreams when you agreed that we

Could build together

There, in the silence as we sat on the phone working

And in between the lines of

‘Baby, tell me about what you’re reading’

It was in the

‘Can you believe?’

The ‘I’m not trying to change you.’

The ‘it wouldn’t be worth it if I did’, and the

‘I knew you would say that’, the

‘Please, say it again’

Again the silence, the ‘are you still there’

It tight roped across the ‘I hate talking on the phone’

And was demanding in the ‘you better call me back’

Yes, it was there when I tried to walk away

Played on my weakness for you as it said

‘Beautiful just chill, relax’

It was in the subtle hints of I miss you

When you just needed to hear my voice

Swept me off my feet in the

‘I want to learn everything about you

I want to take it slow’

It flourished in the honesty, the transparency, the ‘I’ll tell if you go first’

And rested in the ‘I hope you sleep well’

It planted seeds with the ‘I believe in your dreams’

And blossomed in the ‘I’ll work with you to see them manifest’

Danced on my lips when you kissed me

Washed the numbness of my heart away in

‘The I see you, like, really see you’

And the pauses to listen to my laughter,

The constant reminders of attraction

And it was there in the

‘I got you, that’s not me, but since it’s important to you

I promise to try my best’

Yes, it was present

In the effort

That did it.

It really did.

And when I started falling

I asked you

I needed to know if it was safe

And you let me believe it was

In every interaction

In every instance

You helped yourself to my oil

The river of wholeness running deep within

Quenching your thirst

Until I was almost empty

And when I cried out in exhaustion

You wiped me from your hands

I see it now

But I couldn’t see it then

The mask you were wearing

My imagination runs wild, but never that fast

So yeah…I couldn’t respond immediately

So, I just let you have it

Let you say you didn’t stir my love

That you didn’t pretend

That you were sent to be a safe place

And maybe it wasn’t explicit

Maybe the words were never said

But I promise you said you loved me

I promise you did.

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