OPUS Mag

Far from timid • Caveat Lector

Sources Say SZN

Sources Say SZN

It’s the time of the year where you start arguments with your significant other so you can live judgment free. You hear the sprinklers, the Mr. Softee truck, kids playing (do kids play outside anymore?) You see birds (pigeons) all in the park eating bread crumbs (potato chip bag wrappers), fights on the basketball court cuz the OG who lost a step thinks he’s also a referee. All of these things signify something, what? Sources Say SZN.

Sources Say SZN is the time of the year when everyone from reporters to fans pretend they know the inside scoop on the destinations for NBA free agents and trade targets alike. These people tell more lies than dudes in the barbershop and say it with so much conviction while hiding behind, “According to sources” or “Sources say” or “Multiple sources”. These are just fancy ways of saying, “Niggas said…” and we all know “Niggas said…” just means something you wanted to say but hid behind. That’s what Sources Say SZN is, a reason for everyone to have the most to say in hopes something becomes true and they look ingenious for fucking guessing.

Here’s the thing, Sources Say SZN is pretty entertaining if you...wait for it…consider the source. Fans are fanatics, so they’ll Photoshop your auntie in a jersey if it gets them a retweet but these writers who are in “the biz” are nothing more than Pearl from 227; they sit on the stoop and mind everyone’s business but their own. Sources Say SZN is for the BSO’s of the world, you know Black SistaGirl Online who want to let you know all the “tea”. Sources Say SZN is “Chile please…” Twitter’s game 7 to show how sassy they can be for sport. Ever see how these reporters/media outlets “throw shade” at each other to say the others had better/quicker information? You know what that sounds like? “Bitch you thought!”

Sources Say SZN where you believe none of what you hear and half of what you see. Beware of these chatty patties who always know the “scoop” but are always wrong, they’re nothing but glorified gossip columnists and we know I don’t fuck with gossip or SistaGirl talk. Over here “spilling tea” meanwhile you ain’t mow a lawn since 1997 and you wonder why your forearms aren’t built to carry the groceries in one trip. Control your sass, relax your limbs and enjoy Sources Say SZN brought to you by all the SistaGirls.

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