OPUS Mag

Far from timid • Caveat Lector

The Rundown: Game Of Thrones - Season 6

The Rundown: Game Of Thrones - Season 6

Jon Snow came back from the dead like they threw the iPhone charger in his arm. Bran is still having flashbacks, but one in particular shakes the entire series up...just wait on it. Khaleesi got caught up Ina little jam with some guys who thought she was soft, but ended up showing them fuckboys what time it was. Jon and Sansa reunited and it felt sooooo goood.

Ramsay did something that finally made me give him a little credit when he gave his pops the hawk like Styles P. Arya is finally nobody, but still somebody, but then nob...yea. She ends up saying to hell with what they want, and goes her own way; which made me absolutely ecstatic. Cersei got up out of sure doom the only eat she knows how. She let them believe she was defeated, but 6 seasons in and they STILL haven't learned not to cross the QUEEN????

Tommen has been conflicted since he got married and started looking at the women in his life different. The bot dove in headfirst with Margaery and....well, you'll find out how ironic that statement is. Khaleesi had to show this new land how she was born to endure fire, and I'm still not sure if they bowed for her titties or for how she came out of the fire unharmed. Either way, the bow was earned. The many faced God definitely got into a ton of arguments with his girl saying, "that was no one" when he got a call or text after hours.

Arya might grow up to be Ned Stark reincarnated at the rate she's going; and I love it. The play they put on about Joffrey's death was fake bc Joffrey never cared about anything but his makeup. I wish someone said "YO whose mans is this to Euron". Bran is so tall that he's at least smacking out on backboard if he ain't dunking by now. Tommen's back was wild stiff when he saw Margaery in the dungeon. Rigamortis almost set in when he saw his queen living in squalor.

Margaery and Cersei are like Gina and Martin's mama if you think about it. Sam's girl is ride or die for him and actually helps him become a real man. Arya said fuck being nobody, I'm catching a body. Having a trial by combat with the Mountain was like having Johnnie Cochran at that time; so they had to legit ban that method once Cerseie obtained him. Everybody knows Jamie like he sold dope in the neighborhood. The women got wet and the men for nervous around the Don.

Arya caught Paul Pierce special out in public, slipping, but was able to recover. The Mountain ripped a guy's actual jaw off like it was the plastic on a video game.

Serious question: What's the difference between a master and a maester? "Like 30 to 40 bottles of milk of the poppy cocksucker beat it." is the right answer.

Jon beat the shit out of Ramsay. The High Sparrow was foreshadowing to Cersei's plan at the trial with his tone. My favorite scene of the entire series was when Cersei got her payback by telling homegirl "confess...confess" while waking her up with wine to the face. You HAVE to respect Cersei's petty levels there. For one, Cersei loves wine like Hodor loves saying Hodor, so to waste wine meant she was really ready to go all out. Also, instead of granting the lady instant death and a meeting with the Lords in afterlife; Cerseie told her "nah...you gon be here for a while, grab a Snickers." I love Cersei and I don't care what you think!!!!

That last scene with you know who headed to you know where with you know who? Let's keep that between me and you.

SHAME...SHAME...SHAME...

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