The Truth About: Steph Curry
“I’m stuck in a basement sitting on a tricycle, girl getting on my nerves, going out of my mind, I thought she was fine, don’t know if her body is hers…” – Fresh Prince
Much like Will Smith was by Gina from Martin (that’s her name forever), I feel betrayed, bamboozled, had, led astray, hoodwinked and shammed by Wardell Curry Jr. because of his NBA Finals “performance”, if I can even call it that. That wasn’t Steph Curry, it had to be a clone; I heard that sort of thing is going around nowadays. The Steph Curry I know came back after an injury and destroyed the Blazers, the Steph Curry I know put on mesmerizing performance after mesmerizing performance, the Steph Curry I know was doing things I’ve never seen in all my years of watching basketball and who I saw in the NBA Finals was not the Steph Curry I know. It’s like when Rashad found out New New wasn’t who she was claiming to be, “Excuse me, Erin is it? I don’t know this person right here…” and snatched her necklace like Beyoncé snatches wigs. That’s how I felt, “Excuse me, Wardell is it? I don’t know this person right here…” but all I could snatch was my incessant fanboy love away from him. Notice a pattern here? Gina from Martin, New New & Wardell are all light skint (I said skint) women who are annoying ass liars. Thankfully, this isn’t all about Wardell Curry Jr. this here is the truth about Steph Curry.
I’ve been a super-fan of Steph Curry since he was at Davidson putting on a show; I think we can all say that but I feel partially responsible for Steph Curry’s success, as should all Knick fans. I don’t know if you guys knew this but God is the funniest comedian of all-time and I happen to be his favorite punch line. The stars were aligned, the Knicks had the 8th pick in the 2009 NBA Draft, with Mike D’Antoni as the coach, you know the guy that turned Steve Nash into a 2-time MVP and is the architect of the league as we know it now (D’Antoni was a terrible coach but his system was/is dope), the Warriors picked Steph with the 7th pick and crushed my soul. Here’s the thing, if Curry had come to New York, I would have hated his guts by year 3 because when did the Knicks ever get/keep guys who have that level of talent pre-Melo? Not coming to NYK probably saved Curry’s career because once his ankle issues started, the media would have “dragged” his entire family for his play on the court and their comments on social media…wait, you losers do that now; ok well, maybe I’m saying all of this to save myself from drinking bleach but Curry is a personal favorite of mine because he was the one that got away.
How many players have lost their careers to injury? How many have come back, not only better but to win back-to-back MVP’s? Steph Curry is special, the numbers speak for themselves, his defense (though I’m not a fan of his on that end of the court) has improved, and he has given us virtuoso performance after virtuoso performance in ways we can’t even describe. This is where us, myself especially comes into play, Steph Curry was playing so good that we latched on to the possibility of seeing the impossible. I could have told you Steph Curry is going to score 57 tonight and you would just chuckle while agreeing, “He might!” I was drunk on Curry, singing his praises, saying we’d never seen or ever will see shit like this again (we might not!) My expectations of Steph Curry far exceeded any player short of LeBron James and while that might not be fair, it’s the truth, I’m a fanatic; I used no logic because there was/is no logic to explain the way the Beige Bomber would cross half court, launch a 3, turn around as he let it fly and start dancing before it went in. “Nah, no way! What the fuck am I watching?” How any times did you say that to yourself while watching Steph Curry perform? We were under a light skint spell; shit happens!
Is Steph Curry the best player in basketball? LeBron James has not retired. Is Steph Curry the best point guard in the NBA? Russell Westbrook & Chris Paul have not retired. Who is Steph Curry? Steph Curry is the most must see basketball player in the world right now; he is a phenom the likes we have never seen before and that doesn’t mean better, just unexplainably different. Here’s the thing, while I can’t tell you what Steph Curry is going to do on any given game night, I also can’t explain what the fuck happened in the NBA Finals; this is where it gets tricky. Being drunk on the Curry, I wasn't prepared for the hangover of the NBA Finals and neither was Wardell. Understand that I respect basketball as a team sport, so I don’t fault 1 player with a loss (unless your name is Jared Jeffries and it’s the 1strd against the Celtics, fucking asshole). While I may not fault Wardell with the Finals loss and give the Cavs credit because it’s due (I still can’t believe they won) I certainly do blame Wardell for not stepping up and being the leader his team needed. Where was the unanimous MVP? I was expecting a Steph Curry, at LEAST one once in a lifetime “Holy shit, this beige bastard did it again!” performance. Not only did Wardell not deliver that but he didn’t show up at all, as a competent leader or just a solid basketball player. Kyrie abused Wardell, so much so, I was concerned for his safety and almost alerted the authorities but I don’t know the number to 911. Sure, tell me all about Cleveland’s brilliant defensive scheme and I’ll tell you Curry was defying schemes, logic and metrics tetris (that bullshit y’all live by now). You’re not the MVP on a team that went 73-9, who is up 3-1 in the NBA Finals and call in sick or just show up to work to play Sudoku at your desk all day when you can close out a historic season. I hated the fact Draymond got suspended & how the Cavs lobbied for it but it happened (not excusing Draymond’s actions); you’re the MVP, Most Valuable Player or was it Draymond this entire time? When Wardell’s team needed him, he failed them the most.
Look, MVP and a championship followed up by the most historic regular season ever at 73-9, another MVP and a game 7 loss in the NBA Finals doesn’t make Steph Curry a loser or bum all of a sudden; it makes Wardell a New New, a Gina from Martin, every light skint woman who ever broke our hearts but we would run back to in the drop of a…wait for it…dime.