OPUS Mag

Far from timid • Caveat Lector

Dear Tourists: NYC Edition

Dear Tourists: NYC Edition

Dear Tourists,

We really love that you want to come to the greatest city on Earth to spend your hard earned dollars but we need to get a few things clear. New York City is probably unlike anywhere that you’ve ever been. This isn't one of those “just like every other major city” kind of places. It’s one of those places that you just have to experience for yourself. These are just a few tips for maneuvering through the Big Apple.

Move to the side. We understand that everything is just so big, bright and amazing but people actually live/work here and have places to be. There has to be a better place to stand when debating on which block you’ll turn down. People will break that shit up with the quickness.

Walk close enough that we can go around or far enough apart that we can cut in between. You can’t have the WHOLE ass sidewalk to yourselves. This also goes for those who think it’s a great idea for you to stretch 5 bodies across and no one can pass.

Use your Googles or get a map. Contrary to popular belief, everyone here isn't mean or unhelpful. More times than not, the person you’re asking directions has the slightest idea of the place that you’re talking about. And if they do know, they probably don’t know how to direct you there.

Escalators are meant for standing. If you intend to walk, take the stationary steps. They let you run, jump, go backwards and stand in the same place if you choose. Don’t push people who are using the escalator for its intended use.

Speaking of escalators… when you get to the top (or bottom) keep it moving. That’s not the time to figure life out. Best-case scenario, you get pushed. Being realistic, you’ll get cursed out while being trampled over.

People WILL walk in front of your camera. It just is what it is. Most of the time, they don’t notice. Other times, they don’t care. You can even go as far as asking someone to take the picture for you but be careful about who you select. You don't want your camera to run off.

Trains in America aren’t like European/Asian trains. You will learn that quickly. Just roll with the punches (hopefully not in the literal sense) and pay attention.

Dirty water Hotdogs are not $30. I don't care who made them. Street meat is perfectly good food. I'm almost positive that it boosts your immune system, as I haven't heard of anyone dying from it yet.

Personally, I don't think New York City is meant for roaming around in random boroughs to see what it's like. Once you see tourists on the subway going beyond 125th street, it gets a little weird. Like where could you possibly be going? Have a plan. Look like you belong here. I'm not even sure how to do that but just make it look good.

Make your own judgments of the city. People will say so much about New York City from both negative and positive views but it's ultimately how you experience it for yourself. There's nothing wrong with asking around but each experience is unique. It's like body odor; everyone has a different scent (or stench). The most important part is enjoying yourself and not going home in debt or with 3 extra suitcases full of shit you don't need.

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