OPUS Mag

Far from timid • Caveat Lector

Worklationships

Worklationships

What has your work boo done for you lately? You can’t just be involved with these work boos and they have nothing to offer. It’s somewhat of a trade off. Regardless of what Human Resources says, Quid Pro Quo that shit with no hard feelings! Hopefully, you aren’t in the same department but in the more than likely event that you are just defy the odds and rock out.

Although work situations are frowned upon, get some office excitement of your own. Who wants to listen to Jessica talk about her raggedy ass boyfriend every Monday and Thursday? How many times can Marlon complain about how his girl always wants to eat at expensive restaurants on rent week? Live a little.

Studies say that having a worklationship will help productivity and boost employee moral. You ever notice how people who smoke get the best breaks and always get those extra few minutes to refresh and reorganize while on break? Use work boo for that. It’s almost like a smoke break for the nonsmokers. Get breakfast, grab a coffee, and take a stroll around the grounds.

Everything usually starts off so innocently. It begins with a few cups of coffee and the next thing you know, you’re at their desk at the end of the day waiting for happy hour. Every hour is happy when bae is in the office. Just be sure not to send any incriminating messages via company issued devices.

Even though you aren’t really together, that work boo shit can get really complicated really quickly. All it takes is one person to hate or think they are on to something and your whole project is messed up. If you happen to be in a real relationship, this may be a gift and curse. Why? Because at some point everyone will meet and the air will be a little thick.

Your man doesn’t want to hear how or why Mike from claims knows how you like a grande caramel macchiato with 4 pumps raspberry, upside down. Your girl definitely isn’t trying to hear that Kristen from marketing knows how you like your everything bagel lightly toasted with 2 egg whites, salt, pepper and ketchup. Everybody will get clapped, at that point.

Fake Disclaimer: Don’t get brought up on charges or dumped because you thought you could finesse the situation. I’m an expert but my fieldwork is kind of shaky so proceed at your own risk. If everything should hit the fan, fuck it, UPS is hiring.

 “But I don’t know though.”

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Good Game

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