OPUS Mag

Far from timid • Caveat Lector

That's That Bullshit Vol. 2 by @Al_Patron

That's That Bullshit Vol. 2 by @Al_Patron

I had 1 plate at Thanksgiving dinner & took a tray home cuz I got 4 plates put on 1, didn't make my own plate and everything was touching. Go figure. Merry Christmas.

Tony Romo’s wife was really going thru it when he got hurt. I think it’s cuz that nigga gonna be home all the time and she can’t cheat anymore. Oh well.

Somebody has to explain to me why the Jordan crying face is funny. Quite possibly the most corny shit I’ve ever seen in my life. Then again, if I were corny, I’d probably enjoy it too.

I’d be so much further in life if I weren’t honest & didn’t speak my mind but then again is that really ahead? I rather be dead than not be me; I’ll get to where I want on my own. I don’t have tact or know how to “play the game” I am the game motherfucker. Look how far I’m getting by being a 1 man, not giving a fuck army? Imagine I was like everyone else & kissed ass? That’s why people either fuck with me or think they hate me but in reality they’re just terrified of me & my mind/balls. I get it.

You know how I know I’m almost washed? My television automatically turns to ABC at 7pm for Jeopardy.

The week I’m having would be the illest story to write about ever but it’s happening to me & it’s none of your fucking business.

When I want to see whether I trust someone or not, I tell them complete bullshit & if I ever hear that bullshit elsewhere, I know they can’t be trusted. That’s a little something I got for ‘The Departed’, misinform & flush out the rats. Fools can’t play a fool; they just are who they are.

I’m going to punch Derek Fisher in his Matt Barnes.

2Pac was 25 when he died, who the fuck are you?

I think I’m getting someone pregnant for the ’16.

Really believe I could have been the president if I wanted to. I’m that fucking good at anything I do.

Non-creative people thinking they have talent cuz all they do is report on talented people is the funniest shit on earth. Like when 2045 comes around, nobody will give a fuck about your thoughts on what anyone did in 2015. We need a separation of state, the people in the show & the audience. People in the audience have a few options, be entertained or not, spread the word (good or bad) & never think your opinion means more than talent.

Plies has been funny like twice in his life.

I really made a full fucking film based on books I wrote. I didn’t want to be in the damn thing but life happens. I really did that shit.

I’m too old to have friends; my friends are family to me.

I smoked a joint with a 60 something year old white woman over the summer, it was the shit.

Never reply to any aol or yahoo emails. Very unsavory.

Kobe Bryant raped a woman & snitched on Shaq. Why do we forget this?

Mr. Probz is my 3rd favorite R&B artist after Haitian Maxell & Haitian Usher.

Freaks me out how many people I never really speak to tell me I inspire them or helped them; will never be used to it. Inspiring is tiring cuz like I need some too but then again I can’t be who I am & not understand that my responsibility isn’t a burden.

Why are we obsessed with name brands? We talk all this shit about support but scoff at people doing their own shit & coming up.

Kanye basically turned into who he despises. Never me.

Fuck R. Kelly. I should write a series about killing pedophiles who wear Zorro masks in closets.

I’ve heard 2 Adele songs in my life, what’s the name of her fan base?

I will write something that Martin Lawrence will play a role in. Watch me cook.

Light skin niggas have interchangeable faces.

Aight, go fuck yourselves, I’m out. Remember to never trust anyone who eats Mounds candy bars, think about it.

 

 

Paid in Full: Life and Times of Mr. Pip & Calvin by @Mariannoo

Paid in Full: Life and Times of Mr. Pip & Calvin by @Mariannoo

T.G.I.F. (Thank Griddy It's Friday) Vol. 4 by Brooklyn Nets Superfan @griddy

T.G.I.F. (Thank Griddy It's Friday) Vol. 4 by Brooklyn Nets Superfan @griddy