OPUS Mag

Far from timid • Caveat Lector

Cole... You Stupid by @MykeDSOM

Cole... You Stupid by @MykeDSOM

Last week I tried to break down some clues in a article about where Tommy worked, now we get to Martin's other best friend Cole, the one who was brain less but helped Martin out in a couple situations (minus the instigating).

After watching reruns of Martin damn near everyday, you're bound to find something interesting about every episode. Martin had a best friend by the name of Cole who lived with his mom (and there's nothing wrong with that as long as you providing) he didn't quite function right but he had a steady job at the airport and low-key always had a good looking woman on his arms, except for Big Shirley and the chick he brought to Martin's with the fucked up grill, but even though he didn't function well on most occasions, he helped out Martin too and most of the time he probably didn't even know it.

In season 1 the episode where Gina takes over Martin's radio show Martin tries to get from Tommy and Cole to keep her away from hosting WZUP. After pointless ideas and dumb shit from Cole, Martin gives Cole 1 more chance to speak and what does Cole say? "Don't say nothing". Now we know Gina was into marketing and that was her career, Cole tells Martin that Gina doesn't have experience in radio, she'll eventually freeze up and everything will backfire, and that's just what happened.

"Why don't you two try picking up a book sometime!" – Cole

 

When Martin finds out there's a mouse in his crib, him Tommy and Cole tries to figure how to get it out, when Tommy asked Cole what the hell he's doing with goggles on, Cole tells Martin and Tommy they should pick up a book and read sometime, strange isn't it? Another situation happened to be the dead plumber episode, when 911 is 2-3 late and Martin misses the Pistons game he calls 911 again and acts like a why guy, now the whole sequence after you think about it is stupid hilarious but also eye opening, why would 911 give a pop quiz to see if you black or white? Cause these are real life situations and Martin was right when he said "911 is a joke", but back to the Cole thing, the 2nd question before he fucks up the 3rd is name 2 Barry Manilow records, after a brief silence Cole names "Copacabana" & "Mandy". Why is this a big deal? Cause niggas know damn well they wasn't frequently bumping Manilow like that, it was some cool records don't get me wrong but let's be real here...

Cole might've been dumb most of time but he had a few bad joints with him, from the chick on America's Most Wanted to Shanice, who was his perfect match cause they both are dumb, and aside from risking respiratory problems and broken bones with Big Shirley, the ladies loved Cole, I mean he sold the Pacer to marry Shanice! A good looking cool chick but twice the airhead Cole was, maybe three, airhead pussy has its pros and cons but it isn't a new thing or bad if you play your cards right, so I've heard, I mean look at Hilary Banks from the Fresh Prince, might be top 3 dumbest broads ever but she was cool, funny, good looking as hell especially later in the seasons, and had quality vagina, Trevor died on live TV over that and she eventually gave Jazz some, shouldn't be that obvious.

As you watch later episodes of Martin he doesn't really help Martin out till season 4/5 though, when Martin finds out he Pam and Gina signed on the wrong line on the marriage papers, who figures it out? Cole. When Martin got "robbed by Method Man and he thought it was real who told Martin "what part of jacked don't you understand?", Cole.

"The scarecrow didn't have a brain, but he eased his ass down that yellow brick road" – Martin

Now as you look back on these pieces you know Cole wasn't the smartest man in the world but he was clutch in some moments, from telling Martin if Gina was his girl and he was Keith Washington, Gina would've had his kid in 3 months to smart enough to always remind Tommy has was unemployed, Cole was Cole at the end of the day.

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