OPUS Mag

Far from timid • Caveat Lector

Because I'm Tired by @Love_Chan

Because I'm Tired by @Love_Chan

Everyday I wake up to your foot on my neck, your knee in my back, your gun to my chest. The first thought of the day shouldn’t be “will I be next?”

However, this is nothing new to you. Just another day of doing whatever it is that you want to do.

No one hears my gasps. They don’t wipe tears from my eyes. So as I sit with these weights on my shoulders, I try to understand why. What makes your life so much more valuable than mine?

Are we not of the same flesh? Do we not bleed the same blood? How can we remain happy in a place that shows no love?

Time after time, you get slaps on the wrist for your vicious acts. But in turn, call me an animal when I decided to fight back.

I’m tired.

The odds were meant to be against me as an adult and since I was a baby. God forbid we speak up because to you, we’re just poor and lazy. Did it ever occur to you that this is how you’ve made me?

The simple fact of my being is a crime on its own. Not safe in the street or in the discomfort of my own home.

Can’t walk down the block without someone clutching their purse. My skin is brown, I have pronounced features which to you, is a curse.

Day in and day out I have to prove why I should be respected, left to wonder why our whole race is not one to be protected.

No rules, no rights, nothing by “us” or for “us. If not for a negative reason, the world tends to ignore us.

Dammit, I’m tired.

Tired as a people. Explain to me why I have to beg and fight to be what is considered “equal”.

Have the mothers and fathers before me not accomplished much? Have we as a race not endured enough?

When does it end? Where are these answers? Pray, they say. That’s cool and all but now what? We just sit here and wait like a bunch of sitting ducks?

Tell me how long it takes to get from point A to B when standing still. Sounds stupid right? They don’t want us to learn too much on our own will.

We want solutions to these problems. We’re always made out to be the issue when things go awry. Have you ever stopped to think about the many reasons why?

I was a loser when I got here, my being seems to be the ultimate sin. Times are changing. We’re moving mountains. We’re preparing for The Win.

Why?

Because we’re fucking tired.

Why is that so difficult to understand? Just once put yourself in the shoes of a Black (wo)man.

The most unnecessary, useless group, if we let you tell it. That’s some deep fried bullshit. We’ve come so far. I don’t have to live by your rules, be looked as inferior or subpar.

Dammit, WE are tired.

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