Far from timid • Caveat Lector

My Top 10 Christmas Movies Ever

My Top 10 Christmas Movies Ever

Honorable Mentions:

Nightmare Before Christmas

National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation


This Christmas

Lethal Weapon (is it really?)

A Christmas Carol (2009)

I'm not even gonna make this a super long post, I'm getting right to the action, I had a little debate earlier about the top 10 Christmas movies (animated ones like the classic Frosty, Rudolph, Charlie Brown, Grinch etc. not included), there's tons of em but these are the movies I grew up watching or just so happen to catch and enjoyed them to the fullest, if you like this list thank you, if you wanna tell me "I'm wrong" or "my opinion sucks" guess what, the jokes on you bozo, all of these are great movies and can be ranked anywhere, like Martin dressed up as Jerome said "don't be mad at me, I ain't shoot the sheriff"

10. Friday After Next: Call it what you want but this Friday I think as actually funnier than the 2nd, Cube and Craig move back to the hood and end up getting robbed by Santa, they go through so much shit in one day with their new jobs as "top flight security of the world" like trying to avoid being evicted, getting their rent money and presents back, and Damon.

9. The Polar Express: Visually alone this movie is fucking amazing, basically a boy who doesn't really believe in Christmas or whatever goes on an epic train ride with 2 other kids to the North Pole…but like I said, watch it for the visuals, you'll be blown away.

8. Die Hard: Yeah, Die Hard is a Christmas movie, John McClane has to save the day on Christmas Eve at his daughters holiday party of a Japanese owned business, the terrorists make sure nobody is safe but the gam is on John when it comes to find he's the hostage, some Christmas. Bruce Willis gave the people a Christmas classic.

7. Batman Returns: Weird choice right? Not really, think about it, all these events in the movie take place on Christmas night, Michael Keaton is top 2 Bruce Wayne/Batman of all time, I don't care how you slice it. This was one of the best and darkest Batman movies of the 90's before they got corny as hell, even though I'm not a huge fan of Tim Burton, he gave us another classic and added Catwoman and The Penguin in the mix.

6. The Santa Clause: This is actually the best movie out of the 3, Tim Allen accidentally kills a man dressed up as Santa on a roof then all of a sudden he turns into Santa but he doesn't believe it. The Santa Clause is a funny movie and one of the best Christmas films to watch.

5. Bad Santa: One of the funniest movies ever, you can watch Bad Santa even when its not Christmas time, Billy Bob Thorton, Tony Cox and Bernie Mac were all hilarious and yes this is another classic, and surprisingly its sequel is just as funny. If you're gonna watch this, please watch the unrated version, its very important.

4. A Christmas Story: I know what you're thinking, this is supposed to be the "best Christmas movie" right? Maybe to you, i don't know but it'll keep chilling at this number 4 spot, its a classic movie no question, Ralphie tells a story how he wanted a air rifle for Christmas but his parents tells him "you'll shoot your eye out", and that's what he almost did when he got it, other than that besides hanging with firends, wearing a big ass pink bunny suit, I still think Ralphie slipped up the word "nigger" when he whooped the bully ass but we'll save that for a rainny day, great movie but not the best.

3. Dr. Seuss' How The Grinch Stole Christmas (2000): This movie is still fire to date, Jim Carrey was perfect for the Grinch, it's just like the cartoon, there's a little backstory about why the Grinch hated Christmas and it was kind of cool how they made it, I wouldn't of gave back that Roast Beast though.

2. Home Alone 1 & 2: There isn't no Home Alone movies after Lost In New York so just forget about it, these movies are hilarious from start to finish, The McCallisters plan a trip to Paris and leave Kevin at home on accident, in the sequel which is kind of Kevin's fault, the family leaves him behind at the airport, he thinks he's following his dad but he ends up in New York instead of Florida. Kevin had the worst family, he deserved every right to give his brother Buzz an ass whooping for eating his cheese pizza, his family called him a "disease", his cheap ass uncle even called him a "jerk" and a "sourpuss" but that's not it, how do your parents make you sleep in the same bed with a cousin who wets the bed if he has something to drink and they just let him, I don't blame Kevin for calling his uncle Frank a cheap skate, but calling your mom a dummy? I would've been dead on the movie set, other than that, Kevin had fun in both movies, even if he had to put Marv and Harry through Jigsaw traps in both movies.

1. Jingle All The Way: I love this movie, Arnold has to go out his way to get a damn action figure but he can't get it, he has to go through shady criminals, a cop, bullshit raffles, store fights, and even false radio contests but it gets better, Sinbad is the one that makes this movie funnier and takes it to another level, after all that shit Arnold went through to get the limited edition doll the kid didn't even want it cause he found out his dad was Turbo Man at the parade, it was dope to see Sinbad get it though, this is by far the best Christmas movie, and it'll never get old.



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