25toLYFE Anonymous Advice: A Woman's Worth
Anonymous Lyfer asked: So my boyfriend didn’t really do anything for me for Valentine’s Day, even though I told him it was special to me! His grandmother is dying and he has a lot going on at work. Should I be mad or could he still have sent flowers, piece of Kit Kat or Venmo for a ‘dinner for one at least? Does Valentine’s Day measure the amount of love your man has for you?
A WOMAN’S WORTH
ABSOLUTELY NOT! This to me screams pick your battles. I simply mean that if you KNOW your man’s intentions and know that he was not deliberately ignoring your desire to be planned for on Valentine’s day then this isn’t a fight that you should pick or even present to him. And I’m not saying that you should never mention it but there’s a time and I think you know this isn’t the time...
It’s always really easy for us to rationalize the ‘shoulda coulda wouldas’ when its not our situation and we have a better ‘idea’ of how we “mighta” handled it. BUT the truth is he isn’t you and as you’ve stated he’s got a heavy load on him. Grandma dying? BABE!
Would it have been too hard for you to plan something small or take him to lunch or make dinner reservations for two this one time?
You could still have had a special evening with your Valentine and perhaps taken some pressure off of him. You both WIN! This wouldn’t have meant that you weren’t special to him or that he loved you any less – it would mean that you were understanding to this particular situation and moment in his life. I bet he would have thought it was not only thoughtful but sexy AF that you took charge this time.
Reciprocity is always better & understanding even without agreeing can change your outlook on other moments of disappointment later on in your relationship. Come on - think about it! Don’t you want to be understood on your off days? Give zaddy the benefit of the doubt this time! Check in again if ya need me ;)