25toLYFE Anonymous Advice: Pandora's Box
I just found out that the guy I'm in love with is married! We have been together for about 6 months and I am madly in love with him. Yes, I'm mad as shit but can't get him off my mind. He claims he's going to leave her, he's just waiting on the "right time." I don't know. I can't help my feelings for him though... Help, please. I need some words.
PANDORA'S BOX. Warning: Tough Love INCLUDED.
GET THE HELL OUT WHILE YOU CAN and while you perhaps still have some sanity. Do we all make mistakes? Yes. Have some of us been guilty of leading someone on before? Yes. Can we be forgiven? Yes. Can people change? Absolutely.
But...we really have to observe how we are being treated and the message that is continuously being sent by the people in our lives.
Babe, he is sending you a clear message - he does not value you enough to break things off with his wife before he continues a relationship with you. He is not willing to prioritize you because you are NOT a priority. The fact that he willing went forward with a GIGANTIC lie is so telling. What else can he lie about? What if you aren’t the only one? He has violated your trust, your body AND your heart.
I’m afraid that he’s using you to fill whatever void he is missing from his wife; maybe an argument free zone and/or unlimited sex?
Sweets, our lives are full of choices - some we stand by and some we absolutely regret. Would it be too much to require something of him? Perhaps not giving so much of you while he is still doing life with another person...his wife.
I know, I know - I’m making it sound simple and ignoring
How good he might be to you and how bomb the sex
Probably is and how he looks into your eyes..
But guess what honey – if it’s real he will do the right thing. Don’t allow anyone to deplete you of your morals and of your spirit. This affair has the potential to tear down your self-esteem and break your spirit.
Please take care of you!
I say GO - until he’s proven that him leaving his wife is in-fact a reality.
FUCK feeling alone, unimportant, violated, disrespected, betrayed and/or humiliated. In the end - self worth is what we MUST foster and nurture. There’s someone who will only have eyes for you. And if you needed some visual proof of how this can play out, watch Season 1 of Being Mary Jane. I’m rooting for you. Be strong!