Far from timid • Caveat Lector

Legend: LaVar Ball

Legend: LaVar Ball

I love sports. It’s a big piece of who I am and I dedicate a lot of my free (and not free if we are being real) time to it. For the most part, I love big personalities. I love people who will keep it 💯as the kids say. For the most part, I’m just not a big fan of the Russell Wilson “I have to say nothing because of my brand” boring, corny types. They provide nothing but what you’re “supposed to hear” and quite frankly put me to sleep.

I say all of that to say; I REALLY, truly enjoy Lavar Ball. He’s quite the lightning rod due to his willingness to throw effusive, over the top, praise at his kids and clear trolling. He sounds like a man who’s had this plan for 20 years and he’s seeing the first part of it come to fruition and he’s enjoying the hell out of it. I can’t blame the man. He’s providing me humor and he obviously has extreme confidence in his kids. I’m so very here for Lavar Ball’s brand of obnoxious.

One of the very realest quotes I’ve ever read was from Lavar on a piece from Scoop Jackson on ESPN about the Ball family. He was asked some variation of, “What do you think about the people who claim you’re exploiting your son?” His response: “You mean like UCLA?” REAL.

Yes, it’s over the top to claim his son is going to be better than one of the best offensive players in league and a reigning two time MVP. I’m too busy laughing at the sheer humor in what he said to be concerned about how ridiculous it is. “Switch 28-year old grown ass man Steph Curry and college freshman Lonzo Ball and see where their teams would be,” said Lonzo Ball. How fucking funny is that? And now imagine what Steph Curry would be doing to Pac 12 kids. Homeboy might average 26 a game on 7 FGA somehow.

My man said he would beat Michael Jordan in a one on one game. Of course people are up in arms about that because god forbid anyone troll about the yellow-eyed one.  “I would just back (Jordan) in and lift him off the ground and call a foul every time he fouls me when I do a jump hook to the right or the left," Ball said. “He cannot stop me one-on-one. He better make every shot ’cause he can’t go around me. He’s not fast enough. And he can only make so many shots outside before I make every bucket under the rim." This is a man who averaged 2 PPG and 2 RPG at Washington State in 1987.

This is a man who met his wife in a hallway in college and apparently his opener was, “I don’t know what me and you are going to do together, but we’re going to do something.” This guy is a living fucking legend. This guy is a man with a plan. This guy doesn’t give a fuck what any of us thinks. He’s going to continue to big up his kids, he’s going to continue to help them with basketball (he’s coached them forever) and continue to help maximize the family’s financial earnings.

My guy is asking for $1 billion for his sons Lonzo, Lamelo, and LiAngelo. ONE BILLION DOLLARS. Now I think we all know what that means. “I’ll ask for a billion but I’ll take $150 million”. Lavar is loud, proud, bombastic and a lot of other things but he doesn’t strike me as stupid. Either way, fuck it. Why not aim for the damn sky? I love the ambition.

Ball has received a lot of pushback on social media for being all in our faces about what he feels his sons are capable of and people think it could be bad for them. Personally, I’m glad he cares this much about their careers and is there for them. I find his utmost confidence in them, regardless of what agenda he may have, to be endearing. Can he dial it back a notch? I mean, I guess but who is he harming? If those kids are going to be successful, memorable professionals they were going to do so with or without their father talking shit about a litany of different topics including legendary players. What he does for them when the cameras are off and what he has done for the last 20 years is a little more important in my estimation.

His kids are going to be good pros, great pros, average pros or bad pros and it will be all because of what they put into the game and what kind of situations they are put into as far as Xs and Os and roster builds goes. They will be whatever they are because of themselves. Their pops having fun and boasting about their kids (that’s the worst thing we can say about him to date, by the way) has ZERO bearing on what their NBA careers are going to be.

“Well there’s more pressure on them.”

If they can’t handle pressure then they weren’t going to be shit in the pros anyway.

“Well he’s making it about himself”

First of all, he’s boasting about his kids. Second of all, are we making it about him or are all those people sticking microphones in front of his face making it about him? It seems that Ball isn’t asking himself these questions though I could be wrong. Third of all, you’re an amateur psychologist now?

“NBA players are going to talk shit to his kids”

Woooooow! OH THE HUMANITY! It’s as if they were going to do that anyway.

“What about all the memes if they suck?”

If they suck I’m sure he’s not going to disown them and who gives a damn about them jokes anyway? Imagine saying “I’m not going to say what I think about my child because social media might run with it. Fuck that.

Lavar Ball might be annoying. He damn sure is pompous and obnoxious. He’s been this way for 20 years and it has yet to fail so why should he stop? He should tone it down because you don’t like the fact that he’s talking up his kids? He should tone it down because it’s his kid’s careers? Think about how much worse Lavar Ball could be doing (or not doing) for his children and A) let that man talk his shit and have fun B) stop armchair parenting. Lavar Ball sure as hell doesn’t need our stamp of approval on how to raise his own damn kids and if being a bombastic, proud father stanning for his kids is the worst thing you can say for him, then STAN ON I SAY. STAN ON.

Photo Series: 92 Bricks - 61st Brick

Photo Series: 92 Bricks - 61st Brick

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