Far from timid • Caveat Lector

Fiction Series: Magic Words Part 1

Fiction Series: Magic Words Part 1

I looked down at my phone. The number lighting up the screen didn’t have a name assigned, but it wasn’t foreign to me. It was where I’d just come from, in fact. The person on the other end probably knew me better than anyone I’d ever met. And no one called me more often than the number lighting up the screen. But still I continued to stare, not answering. It wasn’t lost on me that I refused to save a number that called more frequently than any other, but that’s just how it is. I have to regain some control over this situation. This is how I’ve chosen to do it. My voicemail kicked in and the ringing stopped. I looked up and out the window. The city raced by, all dark spaces with pockets of light from storefronts and streetlights. I sighed. I leaned my head back, hoping to close my eyes and doze for the rest of the ride. But the ringing started again. The phone in my hand lit up, vibrating and squealing. I felt like it was yelling at me. Yelling that I wasn’t in control that I never would be. I pressed the button and held the phone to my ear, pissed.

“What?” I bit out.

“Please. I didn’t want… can’t you come back? I just… Danny please,” her voice on the other end, pleaded with me, pulled me. I’d just left her, dammit. I’d just untangled my arms from hers, my mouth from hers… I am done. I’m in control.

“No. We’re not doing this anymore, Cree. I’m done. I said it and I meant it,” I replied. I didn’t normally use her name. Normally, I called her Baby, Boo, and Love. Normally I was going to her, and not leaving. Normally, but not tonight; I’m done and I’m in control. She gasped at my tone, and at the use of her real name. Then, the line went silent. But I knew she was still there. She was always there.

“Danny… baby. Please,” she begged again, her voice breaking, on the brink of sobs. I could imagine her lying on the couch, legs splayed, one hand holding her phone, the other, tangled in her luscious hair. I’d just had my hands in that hair, tugging, pulling, and dominating. I blew out my breath angrily.

“Cree, stop. Just don’t. You know I can’t--and you know why. You’re making this worse. I never should have been there. I never should have-”

“Danny, I need you. I need you, baby. Please.” Those words were followed by a click in my ear as she hung up. I continued to hold the phone to my ear, still. She’d done it. She’d said those words, the words that would trigger my urgency, my desperate compulsion to be with her, on her, inside her. It made no sense; the words were so simple, so generic, so basic. But as soon as she uttered them, in her sultry, sexy, voice, my soul vibrated. My body hummed, my hands shook, my dick jumped. When she said those words, in that voice… every no was a yes. And she knew it. She knew me. I’m done. I’m in control. But I put down the phone and cleared my throat.

“Hey man,” I said to the cab driver, “can you um… can you turn around and go back? To where you picked me up?”

“You want me to take you back?” the cabbie asked, confused. I stared at the phone in my hand. I heard the last words she said like a mantra, pounding my brain over and over.

“Yeah, my man. Just take me back. Thanks,” I answered him and threw my phone down on the seat. I am done. I’m done and I’m in control. But I was on my way back to her. I was on my way back.

Cree Hunter is 5’8” of beautiful cinnamon skin and sensual fire. She’s as full as a plate at Sunday dinner: full breasts, full lips, full hips, and thick thighs. Her amber eyes were round, her hair dark brown and usually pinned up in an elaborate style like the women in the YouTube tutorials. I knew this because I’d once asked her where she learned to do it. I wanted Cree the moment I saw her, loved her a second later. It was bad, it still is, and hers only matches my obsession with her with me. The air I breathe is thinner when I think of not being with her, my only solace is between her thighs. I’m consumed by how I feel about her. She is my greatest temptation, my greatest weakness, my only weakness; and the trigger is those words.

The first time I made love to her, was fast and desperate, fraught with urgency. We clung to each other, frantic. I don’t think my dick had ever been so hard. Sliding into her body, filling her up, was a coming home I’d never expected, and everything I’d ever needed. And as she came, over and over, her juices wetting us, her hands gripping me, she’d whispered, “Danny. I need you,” over and over. And they became the words that subjugated me, that controlled me. They became the words she used when I tried to back away, the words that didn’t let me. The reason I wasn’t in control.

When the cab got back to her house, I paid him and got out, standing on the sidewalk. He peered out of the window.

“Sure you don’t want me to wait, buddy?” he asked. I turned to look at him,

“You know what? Yeah. I’ll be right back. I just forgot something.” I said the words and then went up the front steps. I pulled out my keys and opened the door. I slammed it and locked it, hurrying into the living room. Just like I thought, she was lying on the couch, legs splayed, rubbing her nipples. I could see her chest moving up and down as her breath speeded up.

“Get up Cree. Get up and talk to me,” I demanded. She sat up, her t-shirt falling down over her bare breasts. She licked her lips.

“Danny, baby. I knew you’d come back. I knew-”

“No,” I held up my hand to stop her speech, “I’m here to tell you we’re done this time, Cree. I can’t--we can’t do this anymore. And before you ask me why, you know why.”

“Listen to me. We can be together, babe. We can. I just have to plan it right. I just have to-”

“Cree, we’ve been over every way. You know it’s impossible. We’re playing with fire right now. I shouldn’t even be standing here.”

“Danny, sweetheart, please just listen. I don’t think I can live without you. I don’t think I can. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted. This isn’t fair,” Cree replied to me, getting up from the couch. She walked over to me, her slender feet dancing lightly over the wood floor. She stopped in front of me, biting her lower lip. She knew I had a particular fondness for her mouth, that I loved watching her lips. Upon closer inspection, I could see that the t-shirt she was wearing was mine.

“I know it isn’t fair. But we have to be mature, here. Life ain’t fair sometimes. And this shit is out of control, Cree.”

“Why are you doing this? Why are you trying to push me away? Not spending the night, calling me Cree. Every single conversation is ‘Baby,’ ‘Boo,’ ‘Love.’ You never call me Cree. Don’t you start now! Don’t you start acting like you don’t love me, Danny! I know better,” she said, her voice getting louder. Her curvy body was taut with anger, and her beautiful face flushed. I wanted to pull her into my arms and put my tongue down her throat. I clenched my fists. I’m done. I’m in control.

“It doesn’t matter how I feel, Cree. It doesn’t matter how you feel. This is the real fucking world, and in the real world, this is impossible.”

“Don’t call me Cree. Act like my man, Danny. Act like the love of my life, because that’s what you are. And that’s why you’re here. Because you know it’s true,” Cree told me, defiant. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. This woman might really be the death of me. My mind was made up. But my heart and body had been on alert since the moment I walked back in. And it showed. My dick firmed at the sound of her voice, even when it was frustrated and angry. Cree walked closer, rubbed him, kissed my neck. I opened my eyes; let her see the want, the love. She smiled. Then she dropped to her knees.

“Danny, I need you,” she whispered, opening my pants. I put my hand into her hair, that thick, luscious hair.

“Baby, I can’t. The cab…” I started to speak, not even noticing that I’d gone back to the pet name. Cree got my pants open, pulled my dick free, hard and ready, like I hadn’t just spent myself inside her twenty minutes before. I looked down. She licked her lips slowly, and then winked.

“When I’m done, I’ll send him away,” she whispered, and then her lips closed around me. As the pleasure consumed me, I had the thought that I wouldn’t stay with her. I’d get back in the cab and leave. It was a thought. It was all I had. I’m supposed to be done. I’m supposed to be in control.

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