The Rundown: Game Of Thrones - Season 3
WINTER IS HERE!!!!!
They talked about winter coming like it was a Frank Ocean album, but that shit is finally here and it's authentic.
Season opens up with Sam finding one of his brethren holding his own head in his lap during a blizzard. Later in the season, Sam has to lay the murder game down on a whitewalker for coming at his family sideways. Gendry got fooled by the fine ass Red Woman; citing "big words and no clothes" as her weapons of choice. I was finally able to differentiate between Podrick and Gendry. Podrick doesn't possess the Klay Thompson style goatee like Gendry. Jon Snow ends up behind the wall, meets the King and joins the team. From there? Shit goes left and he ends up with some pussy, a body, and 3 arrows in his ass; don't even ask me how.
Khaleesi got disrespected by this bald Jon Barry face ass nigga, but he didn't know she was the chosen one and ends up paying dearly. Arya and the Hound find common ground, sort of, as they learn to coexist to get what they both want. Tyrion is forced to marry someone I never expected, but he handles it like a champ. He catches the, no pun intended, short end of the stick a lot this season; but watch how he moves in a room full of vultures.
Bran finds out why he keeps seeing this Raven in his dream as he heads out with his team looking to start fresh. I finally started feeling sorry for Jamie Lannister and even ended up liking him. Jamie got his hand chopped and put around his neck like Jim Jones old One Eye Willie medallion. Bright side, they gave him a new hand that would be ideal for Milly Rocking purposes. He pulls the ultimate real nigga move by rescuing Brienne. Speaking of Brienne, she's becoming one of my favorites off how loyal she is...might have the fattest ass on the show too, if we're being real. Theon...man, Theon is catching HELL. I can't say he doesn't deserve it for the bullshit he pulled last season, but that's not even why he's getting it like this. While I don't feel sorry for him, I at least feel bad for him. You'll see why.
This kid Ramsay might be worse than Joffrey and you know how I feel about that goof.
Cersei is still fine as fuck and even more of a piece of shit this season as she tried to get Tyrion wackes smh. She's often found drunk off red wine, and could possibly be so frustrated because she's wet all time (that's what that red does) and can't get it off. Sansa is making friends with Littlefinger more and more, which I'm predicting will end terribly for her because he's a snake.
Back to Khaleesi though, she's out here still being a goddess; conquering armies and shit like that. Her aura made the homie betray his team and behead them for trying to go at her. He pledged his allegiance to her and helped her team gain control of the city. Her dragons are still out here spitting fire like JR Writer at Hot 97 in the early 2000s.
Robb Stark finds out he's having a son after curving Lord Frey's daughter for his true love. His homie took the bullet, figuratively speaking, and ended up pleasantly surprised at the bride they chose for him. Lady Catelyn Stark is there, looking on in admiration at the ceremony. Then...it happened. When she touched Roose's arm and felt the armor, then he gave her that "bitch...you know what time it is." look, I knew. The Red Wedding happened and ruined my entire day and appetite. I won't get too much into detail for those who are still catching up like me, but just prepare yourself. I had to go skip rocks at a local stream, wearing linen, while soft R&B played in the background to get my mind back right.
On to season 4.