The Rundown: Game Of Thrones - Season 4
Season 4 starts off with Prince O telling Tyrion in so many words "tell your pops I'm on this block now, y'all ain't the only ones that bust y'all guns either." They Aunt Viv'd us on Daario with the switch up, and the story about why the previous actor left is crazy. Tywin almost let Tyrion float out to sea like a boogie board when he was born but said "nah the homie can stay."...BOY OH BOY, what Tyrion does in the end????? Man, one of my favorite scenes ever.
Joffrey is at the function being the most annoying dickhead of all time, even by his standards...AND THEN IT HAPPENS! He sipped the wrong Merlot and got a one-way flight to the upper room. He's lucky I didn't attend, because I would've hit the Kid N Play dance dolo while I spilled an alcoholic beverage. Now he's laid up on a slab with sushi on his eyes like a hoe. Fuck Joffrey.
Arya and The Hound are better together than Ken and Ryu, even though there's an underlying beef. Tywin sits at the dinner table rocking garments that look like dragon skin. Tyrion hit Shae with the Bryson "don't" when she tried to make him step outside of his marriage. She then comes back and gives him 1,000 bars at the trial for his life while the crowd gasses every bar; figuratively speaking. She learns the hard way too. Jamie gave Cersei the pipe right next to Joffrey's dead body while she said "it's not right" and he responded with "I DON'T CARE." Fuck Joffrey.
Cersei needs her daughter, and no scene makes it more apparent than when she lit up talking about her. It's like the wine glass is gorilla glued to her hand this season, and it's a result of her jealousy and insecurities. She's still so fine though smh, SO fine. Podrick and Brienne out here in the field moving like Ashanti and Ja Rule in the early 2000s. Littlefinger is still slithery in elite outerwear. This time he gets his hands even dirtier, and I can't say I blame him for the body he, or the rocks, caught in this case. Also, fuck Joffrey.
Back to Prince O, he was headed to top 5 status until he got too comfortable in battle. His last scene almost hit me as hard as the red wedding, ALMOST.
Khaleesi continues to be fine, break chains, build her army, and finally gets sex again. She finds out the OG Jorah has been an informant since day one, and curves him. Jon Snow tried to warn the leader of the Watch about the incoming static and he didn't listen, then shit got uglier than Tyrone Hill at the wall. Also, Jon Snow knows nothing as Ygritte reminds us with her last breath.
My boy Tommen is in love with Margaery, like on some Doug and Patty Mayonnaise shit, I can see it in his eyes. Bran is still on a mission, but he almost said fuck it all just to go let Jon know he was alright. At least get a hug from big bro. He knew he couldn't, and it hurt ME seeing that shit so I know he was sick. Theon...eh, I mean Reek is going through even more hell this season at the hands of Ramsay. You rather get 28 root canals with no meds than experience what he's going through.
All in all, shit got realer with each episode. I really should've listened when people told me to not pick favorites in the show because of how crazy it gets. I'll holla after season 5.