What Are We Missing?
A lot of us ask ourselves this question a lot. Whether we’re approaching a crucial turning point in our lives, or we already passed it & something just doesn’t feel right. Some of us are coming out of a fresh breakup & want to find the best way to get back at our ex, or we just simply want to find out what our true identity is without that person. The question we always find ourselves coming back to, though, is:
“What am I missing?”
For myself, the piece I have always been missing was turning my thoughts into actions. First & foremost, I’m a thinker. In a span of a few hours, I might only say five words, but I’ve more than likely thought 5,000 different thoughts about 5,000 different things. Secondly, I’m empathic, I feel everything, even the things that have absolutely nothing to do with me. Mix those two personality traits together & you have one hell of a cocktail of a human. So, what was I missing? Simply, getting out of my own fucking way.
Now, that’s the easy answer, the hardest answer to come up with was, “How?” How do I stop my mind from moving a mile a minute? How do I compartmentalize everything that I’m feeling & use it as fuel for something, anything? How do I teach myself that not only are the emotions that come with asking myself such questions 1.) Normal, but 2.) Part of the process?
We all have to go through our own shit & we all have to go through our own shit differently. I say ‘shit’ instead of some encyclopedic word because that’s honestly just what it is. We don’t want to touch it, we don’t want to feel it, we don’t even want to look at it. But, as is life, there is only one way to get to the other side of this moment, so we have to dive in headfirst & get knee deep in the shit.
The most important thing I can say to anybody going through ‘one of those’ is to simply, feel. Feel everything & feel all of it. Feel the air you breathe, feel the ground you stand on, & feel the tip of your tongue as you say, “This is me. This is who I am. This is what I’m going through right now. This is what’s on the other side.”
The thing about all of this is, life is just one big scrapbook of multiple singular moments. Some moments manage to blend themselves together with another moment & there you have it, one big memory that feels like a huge piece of who you are as a person. Which is fine, all of that is fine. We’re humans, we have to get better at giving ourselves a little credit that even in our darkest moments we didn’t attempt to come up with some ridiculous plan to destroy the world because we were upset about something. It’s okay to give yourself a pat on the back every once in a while & say, “We did it, self.” But, these moments do not make us who we are. We define ourselves during the outcome of those moments.
I understand that this sounds like the conclusion of an A.A. meeting, so before any of you ask, Yes, I’m perfectly fine. I just care about the well being of humans & want to see all of us do better because I know we can. Just take one deep breath, put one foot in front of the other, & go get that shit one day at a time (pun absolutely intended).