A Writer's Journey - My Second Book
On October 17, 2017, I released my second book but before that, I went on a journey that most didn't know about. It had been three years since my first book and that emptiness inside of me that lead to me writing "Dedicated" was back again. It wasn't hunger or determination rather the yearning to create meaningful work that made me feel like less of myself.
I realized a long time ago that whatever I was blessed with would drive me to the point of depression if I didn't express myself in a way that people could relate to.
It had driven me there three years before and I was on the brink again. This voice in the back of my mind kept telling me that I didn't belong at work, at least not the line of work I was involved in. I desired freedom from the chains of being an assembly line type of person. Day in and day out no new adventures, nothing new to explore or learn about myself, only attempts to fill this empty void. My spirit was slowly dying again and I knew that one day it would eventually kill me. Yes kill, not in the figurative sense but literally take me off of this planet. I get goosebumps when I describe how good it feels to create any kind of meaningful work. I think that's how I came up with the title "Damnation Of A Dreamer" for this new book. To not create and do what society or loved ones feel is correct can be a literal hell for me. I needed to and decided to put my thoughts and emotions on paper again and share with the world my point of view. Before all of that, however, I had to fall and one day I literally did just that. Without going into detail I was literally flung off my bicycle one day while I was riding in the city. I wasn't hurt bad, mostly my pride, but that experience humbled me that day. Life is a journey, with bumps and holes along the way, some you see, and some unexpected. Sometimes there is nothing in your way but yourself. The path we choose may only be limited to what we see, so at times you must cut your own. The path I was on that day, in life and on my bike, felt like a smooth one until I fell. I had to ask myself, what in the hell was I doing out here?! This life, this path, wasn't mine, it was somebody else's and I had no business being out there, but I made myself go out there every day when I didn't have to. That was my signal to get up finish my route and reexamine my purpose. I was a hollow man and that void deep inside my soul was crying out to be filled. To create with passion and purpose and I gave up on it. My hell was creeping up beneath me, and the bumps down my path called life became wide crevasses all whilst the flames licked at my heels. This life was not meant for me.
I wanted to give the world me. Everything I have experienced and seen, not as a warning but as a relative conversation to whatever it is that you may be going through or someday will. My fears, my emotions, my God, my woman, my love and my life. I could no longer hide from who or what I truly am. I hope that those who follow me on this path we call life can connect with me on a higher level. I hope that one day my words will echo amongst the greatest in prose. I hope that one day we all have the courage to embrace, not the road most have taken, but the paths we seldom see.