That's That Bullshit Vol. 3 by @Al_Patron
Raven Symone looks like the faux fur on a Baby Phat coat.
Rick Ross is a fucking cartoon character. Don’t ever bring up Frank White in comparison to this CB4, please.
Why do people say “FACTS” when only 1 fact was said? I just don’t get it.
Obama can’t wait to clock out. My son is stressed.
You know how I know I’m almost washed? New socks make me smile.
Respect to anyone still eating Thanksgiving leftovers, I wish I had some.
It’s weird, I wish my favorite musicians didn’t have Twitter because it’s like it takes away from the mystique. But as a creative, how do I ever dare tell someone to only be one thing? I guess that’s why fans are fanatics, we don’t think with common sense as we cheer.
There’s some dope hip-hop stories that I hear or witness and sometimes I wish I didn’t because I want to interpret a song the way I so choose. Art is in the eye of the beholder but as an artist, nothing feels better than when someone sees your underlying intent. Weird.
I saw someone I hadn’t seen in a long time & they said “Word? You be writing books now?” What was I supposed to be doing? The same shit you knew me for 8 years ago? Being creative doesn’t come with a limit. You do any and everything you want.
Speaking of which, I was walking in Union Square the other day and saw someone who reminded me of this person I used to know. I thought to myself, “Is that motherfucker even alive?” The world moves quickly, appreciate who you have, when you have them.
Y’all lucky I don’t have a beautiful singing voice; y’all would get no women fucking with me.
Body spray doesn’t substitute taking a shower; go wash your ass.
Being happy is some dope shit & sometimes I go out of my way to get angry because it’s such a comfortable space.
I’m not perfect and knowing this makes me the shit.
My top 5 NBA players ever are: Jordan. LeBRON, Russell, Wilt, Big O/Jerry West.
Don’t ask me if I ever seen older players play; you know why JFK airport is named that. If you love something, you know the history and more importantly, respect it.
When did sports fans get so sensitive? “Don’t talk about Kobe, he’s my favorite!” Nigga, fuck that nigga.
And we’ve collectively become sensitive as a society. I completely understand what it is to be distasteful, I’ve said more than a few “jokes” that I regret but JESUS FUCKING CHRIST! Everything can’t be an issue, it just can’t cuz NO. Someone told me “You can’t be always telling people what to do or how to be” I swear this was in response to me talking about RANCH FUCKING COCKSUCKING DRESSING. YOU CANNOT BE SENSITIVE ABOUT A CONDIMENT, SHUT THE ENTIRE FUCK UP & LAUGH OR KEEP IT MOVING.
Boomerang is real life.
Derek Fisher always looks like he’s thinking about an excuse to not give you a ride to the store.
Grown ass men shouldn’t have Christmas lists.
My next & last book is my level the fuck up. Scary scribes.
Think about how sick R. Kelly is. When you were a kid, where would you go if you were playing hide-go-seek in the house?
Why aren’t there any BLACK game show or late night talk show hosts? I emphasize BLACK cuz I want it to be a pure nigga.
It’s like there’s only 4 women on Instagram. The Lira/Miracle. The Asian but Black features. The Caucasian with thigh high socks. The natural curly hair clique.
The IG explorer page looks like a for sale ad.
Why Prince looks like he makes dope ass YouTube tutorials?
I’m never scared but I get nervous a lot.
I really need to learn how to swim.
Sleeping in the woods is some bear shit.
December 30th. FINALLY.
Don’t get offended when I tell you to get out my face, it’s my face, and you don’t own it.
Griddy & Mariano keep trying to get me into their foot fetish club. Fucking freaks.
Being told to man up is some dope shit, IF it’s from the right person. Everybody else can kiss my ass.
Aight, I’m out. Remember to stay away from people who wear sweater vests. Think about it.